I held my breath and pushed my lips together as if I think that might help the blow of rejection as I nervously opened the email. I had applied to work with an affiliate company that was known to be very challenging to get accepted into. In fact, I was part of an online group of bloggers and the woman teaching us how to blog (who had a very successful blog) had mentioned several times her frustration with not being accepted after many applications.
But for some reason after only one year into my blogging journey as a DIY and budget home decor blogger running under the name of The Resourceful Homemaker, I decided to apply. What could it hurt, right? My blog wasn’t seeing audience numbers that would make your jaw drop, but it was consistently growing and I had numbers big enough to make me eligible to apply. So I went for it!
I clicked on the email, skimmed through until I saw the answer I was waiting for.
I was accepted.
This for sure must be a mistake. I was fully prepared for a rejection since that’s typically my track record in life.
This was huge for me. It meant I could make money off my blog and turn this passion into a small business and get paid to work on my house and work from home. How amazing and dreamy perfect would that be?
Honestly, I consider that MIRACLE NUMBER ONE in this story.
So once you get accepted, you’re not fully into the program just yet. There was a nine-month probation program where you have to hit certain goals that they set for you in order to stay an affiliate. So I was supposed to post X amount of posts on their app, make X amount of sales, and get X amount of followers on their app. This all started around the same time as getting pregnant, so it was like walking through two nine-month journeys side by side.
The first few months I was so excited to get started and work towards the goals they had set for me. Each month, they sent me an email with suggested goals for that month to help me stay on track to achieve the ultimate goals. And at the end of the month, they would send me an email letting me know how I did that month. I crushed the first few months and surpassed the monthly goals they set. I made my first sale, published the posts I was supposed to publish, and things were going well.
But then my life came to a crashing halt and so did all my progress.
My husband was talking about leaving me and my body was in so much pain from my pregnancy that I physically couldn’t keep working on projects around my house. I tried so hard to keep up with everything. But all my emotional and mental energy went towards fighting for my marriage, having a safe pregnancy, and keeping myself from drowning in my situation.
I just didn’t have it in me to put in the necessary effort to keep my blog running. So I took a step back.
Every month a painful reminder in email form came in from the affiliate company saying, “Unfortunately, you didn’t reach this month’s goal. But you still have time to reach the main goals we have set for you to stay an affiliate with us.”
At the end of the nine-month probation period, I looked at where I was with my goals and I had accomplished all but one. I made the amount of posts I was supposed to make, I made the amount of money I was supposed to make, but I didn’t get the number of followers I was supposed to. I was 20 short.
I felt defeated. It was another thing in my life that I was losing. I had worked so hard to get to that point. I finally got there and then I couldn’t even finish.
I was sitting holding my newborn baby when an email came in from them. Great, here’s my final rejection from them.
I opened up the email and read, “Congratulations! You’ve reached the goals we set for you and have been accepted to stay as an affiliate with us!”
I call that MIRACLE NUMBER TWO.
I was stunned, so excited, and definitely gave God the credit for that. I knew I had come up short, but they still accepted me. But I was also so confused. I had stopped working on my blog. Not only did I not have the mental capacity to run my blog, but I no longer had a home to fix up and work on DIYs. So did it even matter if they accepted me or not at this point? I was so thankful, but I couldn’t really do anything with it in my current situation.
I struggled with that for awhile and questioned a lot of things. I felt like I pursued and worked so hard for so many things in my life and every single thing seemed to fail. My marriage. My blog. Why did good things keep coming into my life only for them to be taken away so quickly? And always right when it’s about to get to a spot of challenging growth. I’m up for the challenge, but I don’t get the opportunity to go after it.
But what if they weren’t failures after all?
What if what appeared to be a failure was actually a detour towards victory?
If I look at what I’m doing today, I’m so thankful for the failed blog. If I hadn’t started that blog, I wouldn’t have had the knowledge to get this one up and running so quickly and smoothly. And I have the knowledge to skip over so many hurdles I had to work through with my first one.
I now believe that God walked me through what I thought was a failure to prepare me for something so much bigger. I’m so thankful for that. Already I’ve seen much more growth and response from this blog than my other one and so much of that is because I had the tools at hand from the beginning.
And the affiliate company? I still get to work with them on this blog. I call that MIRACLE NUMBER THREE. I had questioned why God had allowed me to still get accepted even though I had come up short. I always looked at it as a blessing and assumed God had a plan for it and would give me a way to use it, but I didn’t know how that would work out.
So, all the hard work I had done to monetize my last blog is actually benefitting me with this one. All that work a few years ago was not wasted. And with enough of that hard work again, my goal is to be able to get to a spot where I can be financially secure enough to work from home so I can be with my son fulltime. Being a stay-at-home mom has always been one of my biggest desires.
I think God sees the details of the dreams I had for my life and is still working hard to give me them, despite what I have lost and struggled with. What was taken away from me by sin, God is working to restore for me. Maybe it’s not the way I pictured it.
No, it’s nothing like what I pictured. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t still good.
I don’t say all this to brag, but to encourage you. I was once in a spot where I felt like everything was lost and life would never be good again. And sometimes I still feel that way.
But I also want you to know that if you feel that way right now, that doesn’t mean it’s true.
God can take what you see as failures in your life and turn them into victories.
I had no idea why God took me down some of the paths I have gone and some I still question. Maybe it was me just making my own path and He’s creating a way to make it work. Or maybe He was preparing me for something more important and I just didn’t realize it at the time. But either way, I’m trusting that He will make it good again and will take my failures and use them for my benefit.
Maybe this is you as well. You might be looking at a season in your life that felt pointless and like wasted time. But friend, God can use it and He will use it in some way. It may not look the way you thought it would. It may not come in your timing. But God will use it some day and in an unexpected way.
He won’t let your pain be wasted. He won’t let what you see as a failure be the end for you. Stay faithful.
That’s my hope and prayer when I feel so lost in my situation with my marriage. I know one day I will look back and thank God for walking me through it.
That’s my prayer for you too. I pray you see your situation and have hope in a God of restoration. Because that is who He is. We have an Enemy who likes to steal, but we live for a God who is in the business of restoration. What the Enemy means for evil, God will find a way to use for good. He is the ultimate Victor.
The evidence is clear. He always shows up to turn our failures into victories.
